conversations with myself, 2:00 am & 8:00 am

2:00 am (after a night of naps):

My head is going to EXPLODE. How is that baby screaming again?

I cannot handle his yelling. I’m going to lose my mind.

Didn’t I JUST get up and feed him? Sigh.

I could sleep for weeks and still not get enough.

God as my witness, I am never going to have another baby.

How is his brother in the next room waking up, too? I wish they would grow out of this phase.

I can’t believe how this time drags on and on and on. These days are so dang long.

8:00 am (after a shower and a cup of tea)

My heart is going to explode! How can the baby be grinning like that?

I cannot handle his laughing. I am going to lose my mind!

Didn’t we just bring him home from the hospital? Sigh.

I could cuddle him for days and still not get enough.

God as my witness, I want to have a zillion babies.

How is his brother in the next room going to preschool soon? I wish they would stay little forever.

I can’t believe how the time flies. These years are so short.

21 thoughts on “conversations with myself, 2:00 am & 8:00 am

  1. Megg Donnelly Baade says:

    “Everyone should have kids. They’re the greatest joy in the world. But they’re also terrorists. You’ll realize this as soon as they’re born and they start using sleep deprivation to break you.” – Ray Romano

    • mothering spirit says:

      This is an awesome quote! Today I would break and confess all my secrets if he would only go back to sleeping through the night. Really, I start thinking crazy, deranged thoughts about what I would give for 8 hours uninterrupted.

  2. Laura M says:

    You hit the nail on the head with this one! I will admit last nights uninterrupted sleep was amazing! Especially, compared to the night before when G was up every 3ish hours. Mothers have to stick together for support!
    I am so thankful that you share your gift of beautiful writing through this blog! Lets us know there is someone going through the exact same things!
    Blessings! Laura M

    • mothering spirit says:

      Thank you, Laura! But you deserve to relish those nights of beautiful long sleep, too! They are what we spend weeks working towards and months dreaming of. So soak it up! 🙂 After all, if we didn’t get to the point where we slept normally again, there would never be 2nd babies. It’s like how we forget the pain of childbirth – nature’s way of making sure the human race keeps going!

  3. Kansas Mom says:

    Oh, I’ve been there, too! Your little one is probably too big for a Woombie (oh, what a wonderful, glorious invention!) but take heart. I always tell myself it’s a growth spurt. Is there a patron saint of sleep? Maybe St. Nicolas would help.

    • mothering spirit says:

      I hear you, Kansas Mom – I am accepting all intercessors. Maybe we can squeeze in another title for St. Gianna since she surely knew what work it was to coax babies to sleep? And our little one is addicted to his swaddler (much like a Woombie) although I’ve been second-guessing it lately since our first had already kicked the swaddler habit and was sleeping on his belly by now (shhh). It wouldn’t be a day of mothering without second-guessing myself though, would it?

      • Kansas Mom says:

        Ah, St. Gianna is a good one to call on. Sometimes it seems to me the swaddling can cause frustration when baby is ready to give it up. And, yes, second-guessing comes with motherhood, especially now that we have that “helpful” thing called the Internet. We’re sleep trainers at six months on the Range (at least, we were by the time #4 hit six months old). He sleeps like a dream now and I don’t regret that week of hard work for a second!

  4. Laura says:

    This is exactly my conversation!! I have two little girls…3 years and almost 8 months. You and I are having the same very conversation, down to the “didn’t I just feed her?!” and “waking up sister in the other room!” and “never doing this again” and “must have more babies” and “can’t believe we are signing up for preschool”. I connect with you deeply. Cheers to our motherhoods! (By the way, a friend turned me on to your blog and I have been thoroughly enjoying it. Thank you for sharing. Your writing is honest and faithful and lovely.)

    • mothering spirit says:

      Thanks, SC! Indeed. And though Blogger is not letting me post this on your birth story for some reason (grrr), I wanted to say: what a story! Filled with divine intervention, indeed. And a strong and loving mama who thinks of (all!) her children first. This will be a blessing of a story to share with your son when he is older. Praying for you all in the recovery and transition period.

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